Hey, I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked. I just wanted to send a little note your way. No, I’m not writing this to complain about how you ruined my life or shattered all of my dreams. I once thought you did those things, but looking back now as a married woman, I realize the exact opposite is true. That’s why I’m here to say thank-you.
Let me start by thanking you for treating me poorly. Although I know I didn’t deserve that kind of treatment, it taught me to respect myself and hold higher standards when it came to choosing a companion. You showed me the importance of looking for someone who cared for me enough to work hard, lend a helping hand to those in need, speak with kindness and even do those things you considered “outdated” and “uncool” – like asking my dad’s permission to date me, opening the car door and respecting my body and purity.
I can’t help but think back to all of those times you bailed on me after we had already made plans for a date night. Often it was just an hour or two before we were supposed to go out. I know, I know, the guys invited you to hang last minute and you just couldn’t say no, right? I remember the sting of not being a priority in your life. I remember holding back the tears when you called to back out, and I certainly remember letting them flow as I read yet another text filled with excuses and broken promises. From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank-you for those times, too.
You may be wondering how I can truly be grateful these things, as rotten as they were. I mostly appreciate them for reminding me of how blessed I am to have a husband who loves me completely and fully as a man should love a woman. He works hard to provide for our family, isn’t “too cool” to pray with/for me, speaks with grace and treats me like a lady – not a piece of meat or a trophy to show off to his friends.
I don’t know where you are today or what your life may look like, but I hope these past experiences have taught you a thing or two as well. My prayer and greatest hope for you is that you’ve learned the importance and value of being a gentleman, living a life rooted in kindness and considering others as a priority above yourself. I don’t hate you, and although I certainly can’t say I miss you, I just had to set free the pain I allowed you to build in my heart so very long ago.
Do you share a similar experience? Leave a comment below.