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Saying Goodbye To “The One” Who Wasn’t Right

Isn’t it kind of crazy how relationships work…and sometimes don’t? I mean you live in this world full of billions of people, but for some reason, that somebody had the something that made you believe you had finally found the one you’ve always been searching for. The even crazier part is when you realized that they felt it, too.

Butterflies filled your stomach, and thoughts of this special someone quickly overtook your mind and then somehow, suddenly, you embarked on this new adventure of dating one another.

Smiles and kind words were exchanged, quickly followed by the secrets and stories of your past – the ones you swore you’d never tell. It just all felt so different with this someone, it somehow felt so…right.

 As seasons changed and time slowly passed, you started to realize that the relationship had changed, too. The butterflies had all flown away and the thoughts of that particular someone morphed from positive and lovey dovey, to negative and dry without warning. The exciting adventure you were once on somehow turned into a prison that caused you to feel lost, trapped and searching for the tiniest glimpse of who you are…of who you want to be.

So you finally did it – you took the bold step to say goodbye to “the one” when you realized they just weren’t right. Mixed feelings arose, from guilt to delight, but somehow the good far outweighed the despair. For the first time in ages you recognized your reflection in the mirror, and though the breakup wasn’t easy, you felt peace and hope that a greater adventure was out there.

You’re not the only one out there who let go of “the one who wasn’t right” and be glad, because if you were, your future someone might still be trapped behind the prison gates of who they once thought was their special lady or guy.

Love and hugs,

Juli Wilson

***

Ever experience something similar? Leave a comment below.

Julianne Wilson

Striving to make the world a little brighter.

  • Colleen Orozco

    Yes…I am in this right now…I don’t understand but God does so all I can do is WAIT…

    February 24, 2014 at 4:30 pm Reply
    • rebecca lynne lewis

      Im here too…was in a 3 year relationship, mainly downs but our love was strong enough to overlook that. Its been a year and a half since we broke up, hes now been dating someone new for a year, and i still havnt found anyone and have been feeling despair just from yesterday…like they are both far from God, how does it happen that they get to be happy and so inlove and me, a God fearing woman, is kind of overlooked and loosing hope on a daily basis that there isnt that amazing God fearing man out there for me 🙁 Just gets to a person…. sigh, but just gotta trust Him and his perfect timing.

      February 25, 2014 at 6:10 am Reply
  • G

    Mght me going through that now. There was confirmation from God that he’s the one for me but he isn’t making the effort anymore and is even pulling away from God. If we don’t make the effort then nothing will happen. God gave us free will and unfortunately some people don’t know how to make the right decision on their own,

    February 24, 2014 at 4:45 pm Reply
  • Becky Espinoza

    I had to say goodbye to someone a year and a half ago. Since then, God led a wonderful young man into my life, and it has truly been amazing seeing how God is working throughout our relationship! 🙂

    February 24, 2014 at 4:50 pm Reply
  • Savannah Davis

    Being the one on the other side that isn’t the one talked about in this post is worse. Out of the blue, after years of dating, the one you thought was forever just leaves

    February 24, 2014 at 5:06 pm Reply
  • padgettana@gmail.com

    That is EXACTLY how I feel. I just need to learn and wait in him..

    February 24, 2014 at 5:15 pm Reply
  • Julia

    Although at the time it was bittersweet, I just kept looking forward to the moment I’m at now, and it couldn’t be any sweeter than a life following Jesus.

    February 24, 2014 at 5:33 pm Reply
  • ivelisse

    What happen when the experience was so traumatic that you buried it inside your subconcious and laid there for decades. Because you were young and naive you never spoke for yourself and the person hurt you so.much and.used the lowest mean without reason tu hurt you.. Then decades past and you find that person and you think is not someone you know. You saw.him and.think.he is very handsome but a stranger and when finally the person is in front of you say hi as.if.nothing had happenned. What.happenned when that event made you to remember everything as it is happpening in the present and you feel the pain, humiliations even more stronger than the first time. All psychological help and reasoning sometimes made you feel helpless.

    February 24, 2014 at 5:48 pm Reply
  • Jane

    Thanks so much for sharing this .
    Said goodbye for quite a long while and God has been blessing me since then. Drawing even closer to him eah day. And just waiting ….. :’)

    February 24, 2014 at 6:08 pm Reply
  • Nicole

    This is exactly what happened in my life just last week. I had been in a relationship with him for 6 months, but I slowly fell out of love over the course of the last couple months. Things weren’t as perfect as I thought they once were, and I knew that it had to end. It was the hardest thing I had to put him through, lots of tears and confusion, but I felt relieved once it was done. I had to accept the reality of how uncertain I felt about having a future with him, and I relied on Christ to give me the words, the grace and the strength to power through it. I still feel sad about it, but I am hopeful for what Christ has in store for me next.

    February 24, 2014 at 6:50 pm Reply
    • Yulissa Diaz

      I’m with you! Christ will give you peace!

      February 25, 2014 at 7:26 am Reply
  • Yulissa Diaz

    Happening to me right now but I rejoice in The Lord because I’m getting even closer to Him & returning to my first love. Lord has His reasons why I felt the way i did days ago when I was with my ex. Right now, he is extremely cold in the spiritual & I try to help him to let that fire ignite & to let him know that he is getting blinded by the enemy’s lies. I pray that anyone who is going through this finds peace in God. That they may focus on Christ to realize that singleness is a gift also; no worries, & great way to find your identity in Him. God bless yall. Prayers appreciated.

    February 25, 2014 at 7:23 am Reply
  • Tiffany

    I just went through this a couple weeks ago! It was so hard to explain to him, but I just knew he wasn’t the one. Thanks for the post Juli Wilson!!! 🙂

    February 25, 2014 at 12:18 pm Reply
  • Jojo

    Thank you so much for this post, Juli! Many bloggers usually go in the “s/he broke up with me” route. And although those are really good, not everyone gets dumped on. Sometimes we’ve gotta do the dumping. For me, it wasn’t much of a “falling out of love” issue, it was more of something God told me to give up. I still very much love this guy but I will trust Jesus and His will for my life. Thank you for the encouragement. Stay beautiful! xoxo

    February 25, 2014 at 7:58 pm Reply
  • Jessica

    Thank you for this post! Just went through this season. Though it’s hard it helped me grow and learn.

    February 26, 2014 at 2:36 pm Reply
  • Andrea

    Once again, thank you so much for your beautiful words and your great wisdom! This is just another confirmation that, my decision a year and a half ago, to let go and say goodbye for the final time, was exactly what God asked me to do. It was quite possibly one of the toughest decisions I had to make, but I clearly knew what God was asking of me. So thanks again for your encouragement! God Bless you, sister!

    February 26, 2014 at 8:28 pm Reply
  • Charlotte

    Exactly what i went through just week. We broke up after dating for six months.
    Excuses of seeing him became the order of my day. it was the worst break up i have ever been through but now i can firmly say and Thank God for the inner peace he has given me and for the tears he made me not shed through all those times.
    I believe God is preparing some one right for me and actually it has made me to get closer to him ( God) than before.

    March 1, 2014 at 10:05 pm Reply
  • fmu_mj

    So eloquently put, Juli. Thank you! Sharing with the Future Marriage University (FMU) community at https://www.facebook.com/FMUniversity.

    And for those struggling with bitterness over Mr/Ms Wrong, please consider this blog post from the FMU Date Night Advice (DNA) blog to help you forgive: http://f-m-u.com/Blog/two-reasons-need-forgive/.

    As for those who are just longing for that special connection, please check out this post: http://f-m-u.com/Blog/what-you-dont-know-about-romance-can-hurt-you-romance-part-1/.

    March 5, 2014 at 2:36 pm Reply
  • Lydia

    But what, if he was right and just you were wrong? He was THE one God had given and you just messed up? You destroyed it all by your selfishness and jealousy?That’s the reality of my life.
    I don’t wait for another one. Yes, I am bitter, although there is no one to blame but myself. I don’t know I will make it.

    March 6, 2014 at 11:55 am Reply
  • Katelyn

    Just broke up with my fiancé. It was incredibly hard.
    I loved him, but we fought constantly and there was no compassion. We were good friends but due to feeling pressure to date from the beginning, I felt like I loved out of obligation instead of choice.
    I would really appreciate prayer. We were less than 100 days to wedding.

    March 7, 2014 at 11:45 pm Reply
    • michelle acosta

      Ill be praying for you!

      March 17, 2014 at 11:31 am Reply
  • Alinan

    yeas. I ve been there.And it s just so hard smts to accept.I know God gives us free will, and we just have to ask Him.But i also think that if we remain with THE ONE WHO S NOT THE RIGHT, we can lose a great blessing…

    March 8, 2014 at 10:58 am Reply
  • Catherine Tess

    This is exactly the article I needed to read. I just broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years a week ago. I was confused and very lost because slowly but surely, this guy who I thought was the love of my life changed into a person I didn’t know anymore. His moral compass seemed to fade away. As much as it tore me apart, I ended things. But with support from family and friends and turning to God for guidance, I am already so much happier than I was when I was with him. As much I want him to be part of my happiness, where things were going was beyond my control. But I have to tell myself that God has a plan and doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle. I don’t know what He has in store next, but I know it will all be for the better.

    March 8, 2014 at 12:45 pm Reply
  • Josh

    This is a natural part of relationships – and the sad thing is that falling out of love happens all the time to married couples. As a result, about 50% of Americans get divorced, and another 50% of the remaining couples consider their marriages to be unhappy. To me, this means that marriage is broken, and I think it starts with the fary tale belief that there is only one perfect match.

    March 9, 2014 at 2:24 pm Reply
  • Megan

    Oh yes! I experienced that…
    An intense “we should get married and have kids” kinda love. On paper we should of worked and then we just didn’t, I intitiated the break up and it was hard but right. Now 1 yr on he is engaged and I am alone, which is really hard to cope with, I have Jesus though which means I am not alone and Jesus is enough! X

    March 12, 2014 at 4:14 am Reply
  • Kellie

    Thank you for writing this. Sometimes the best comfort is just to know that you are not the only one that is experiencing or has experienced something. I had been meaning to write about this very thing for weeks, but I just thought that maybe it was just me that went through this. It’s sad that we all had to go through it, but nice to know that none of us are alone and that there is something better in the future for us all as well.

    March 13, 2014 at 9:23 pm Reply
  • Cara

    Thank You, I needed this.

    March 14, 2014 at 8:56 am Reply
  • Inah Orense

    I’ve never thought of saying goodbye to him, even though he had given me every reason for me to give up. I guess that’s how love works. Today, I have decided to accept the fact that maybe he’s not the right one for me. I have to just let things go and wait for what awaits me in the future. I know this will not be easy but I’m sure that eventually I’ll be fine and that maybe in the right time (I don’t know maybe another guy or the same guy) I will have that someone who will make me realize why things didn’t went well this time. Thank you Juli. This moved me. 🙂

    August 3, 2014 at 9:14 am Reply
  • Inah Orense

    I’ve never thought of saying goodbye to him, even though he had given me every reason for me to give up. I guess that’s how love works. Today, I have decided to accept the fact that maybe he’s not the right one for me. I just have to let things go and wait for what awaits me in the future. I know this will not be easy but I’m sure that eventually I’ll be fine and that maybe in the right time (I don’t know maybe another guy or the same guy) I will have that someone who will make me realize why things didn’t went well this time. Thank you Juli. This moved me. 🙂

    August 3, 2014 at 9:18 am Reply
  • Eden

    wow , i just did that , i asked him what do u want us to be if we got back together again and he said um hmmm u decided ? twice he said it and i was like i mean shit to you , he just wants someone to keep him company while he is away from home and skype every night , asshole

    i deserve better

    August 5, 2014 at 1:36 pm Reply
  • Sarag

    WOW! Praise God for that. Thats exactly what I needed to hear.. It was really hard being the one having to end the relationship when sometime before I thought he was the one. But I know that if God was there though this, he will direct me towards the right one, in his time! Thank you Juli! God Bless You! 🙂

    September 30, 2014 at 4:29 pm Reply
  • Melissa Brewer

    Juli, I was reading back to some of your older blog posts and I came across this one! This is EXACTLY what I am going through at the moment! I was in a relationship with a guy who I desperately wanted to be “the one”. I broke it off with him about four months ago. I knew the Lord was nudging me to break things off. He even used close friends & family to help me realize. I knew who I could be if I would just let this relationship go. I can’t even tell you the amount of growth I’ve had over the four months! My relationship with the Lord has become so real and tangible, more than it probably has been, ever! I am so excited to share what He has taught me about Him and even me! It’s all so amazing!
    Well, for whatever reason, today has been a tough day with the break-up. I still see him at college lunch and dinner. I am just recently finished with college and am waiting for Gods next direction. It can be hard to see him; it brings up all the memories of the past. I tend to wonder if I made the right decision. However, I do know that God has a greater plan for me. He has a man out there that is the absolute best for me. I am in the waiting stage, although I know life is not all about the destinations we are “traveling” toward.
    Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for writing this post, and for letting the Lord use you. This has been a blessing to read and an absolute confirmation that I made the right decision four months ago.
    Melissa

    November 10, 2014 at 9:20 pm Reply
  • Mark

    I really did feel the same. It’s good to know I’m not the only one. A year ago I broke up with my then girlfriend as God made me realize many things. Though it was hard I took the step and I can say that I am beyond happy now than I was before 🙂 This article was posted on my birthday so I really think it’s meangt for me. HAHA 😀

    December 2, 2014 at 4:55 pm Reply
  • ihavefoundagreaterlove

    Oh wow this is so true. It is so hard for me because I was on the other side of it. He broke up with me and shattered my hopes and dreams of being with him forever. Now instead of getting caught up in the fact I am single I hope to look and remember that God is forever great and wonderful and has an amazing in store for my future. Thank you for this beautiful reminder!

    March 24, 2015 at 7:54 am Reply
  • marie

    I’m so glad I found this post. Thank you so much Juli. I recently broke up with my “boyfriend” of 1.5 years (the last few months were spent separated by 2500 miles and plagued with gaps in communication and mistrust). I prayed to God about it and I know that I made the right choice, regardless of how tough it was because he was distancing himself from God. He said he didn’t feel he needed to stop dating girls out of respect for his girlfriend and that he should be able to do whatever gave him pleasure. Found out today he already found another girl and lied to me for about 5 months. Wish I had read your other post too because he was always secretive about our relationship, didn’t like me posting on his Facebook, or posting pictures about us. And he never formally asked me to be his girlfriend even though I was really close to his family and he had met with my parents on various ocassions. It hurts that I put my 100% effort into the relationship hoping it would work out, but looking at it now, it was doomed from the start. I thank God for helping me see the light and saving me $500 plus on airplane tickets . This time has also brought me so much closer to God and I seek Him now more than ever. I know His plans are way better than the ones I have for myself and I pray that I find a good respectful and caring man when the time is right.

    May 2, 2015 at 9:36 pm Reply

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