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5 Reasons He’s Not The One For You

Where my single ladies at? Let’s face it…dating can be tough. One minute it’s fun and exciting, and the next it can be totally confusing and heartbreaking. What happened to that sweet guy who picked you up for that first date with roses, and why hasn’t he asked you out for date number two?

Have the romantic texts and calls stopped? Suddenly feel unimportant, unnoticed and unworthy of love? Here are 5 reasons he’s may not be the guy for you.

1. He Never Initiates The Conversation First.

Do you find yourself staring at your phone all day, waiting for it to light up with a romantic message from Mr. Wonderful? Tick-tock, tick-tock. You promise yourself, “I’m not gonna text him first. I’m not gonna text him first…” But then, it happens. You justify. You create scenarios like, “Maybe he’s still sleeping and I could send him a sweet good morning message.” or “Maybe he’s into a girl who knows how to play it know, one who will show him he’s on her mind.”

Girlfriend. Please…Hear me out. If he never contacts you except with a short reply to a message you sent first – He’s not the one for you. If a dude is into you, he’s going to let you and everyone else know it. He’ll want to talk to you. He’ll try his hardest to make you notice him. He’ll be sure that no one else is making a move on you. Trust me here, ladies. He’s not worth the time or the heartache.

2. He Only Talks To You In Secret

Woah girl, things seem to be going so great! You’ve met this amazing guy who seems to totally get you. Both of you have the same interests, the same taste in music and you even share a love for cheesy reality tv shows. Wow! It’s like, so meant to be. There’s just one catch..he doesn’t want anyone to know you two are talking.

Ever hear a phrase like one of these?

“I really like you, I’m just not ready to make it official or anything. Do you mind not telling anyone for a while?”

“You’re really great, but I’m still getting over a past relationship and I don’t want anyone to think I’m just jumping around from girl to girl or anything. We can still talk and act like we’re together, just don’t let anyone know. Okay?”

Lady. Please. Listen to my plea.. RUN AWAY FROM THIS DUDE! I mean Forest Gump style. Don’t even take time to look back. A relationship isn’t a game of hide and seek. If you’re seeking him and all he’s trying to do is hide you, he’s most certainly not the guy for you.

3. You Can’t Bring Him Home To Daddy

Look, I get it. You find something intriguing about a guy who lives his life on the edge. He’s a perfect mix of Ryan Gosling and John Mayer – a little bit cocky, a little bit sweet. Handsome, but a little rough around the edges. He had you at “Hey Girl.” You know he isn’t the best guy on the block, and you definitely don’t want your parents or friends to find out you’re with him. If you find yourself constantly hiding texts, untagging yourself in pictures or lying about him to the people you’re closest to, he’s definitely not the one for you.

4 .He’s Constantly Pressuring You

Are you with a guy who is continually trying to persuade you to do something you’re not comfortable doing? Are you bombarded with texts and conversations that always begin or end with, “If you really loved me, you’d do insert word here with/for me.”? If all he wants from you is sex, he’s not the one for you. A real man will help you stand for your convictions – he won’t try to sway you from them. If all he wants is what you can give, it’s time for you to move on and cut him loose.

5 . You’re Never Enough For Him

Are you with a guy who demands perfection? He’s constantly bashing the way you dress, pressuring you to be sexier or skinnier? Does he make fun of you in front of other people? Does he call you rude and degrading names? He’s NOT the one for you. If a man doesn’t realize how beautiful, smart, talented and lovely you are, he doesn’t deserve your time. Never settle for someone who is chasing after a magazine cover. He’ll never be satisfied and you’ll never be treated like the priceless jewel you truly are. Stand up for yourself and kick him to the curb.

If you’re struggling in your dating life right now, I truly hope that one or more of these things can help give you some clarity. Never forget – you are beautiful. You are enough. You are worthy of love. Don’t settle!

Love and Hugs,

Juli Wilson

What are your thoughts?

Julianne Wilson

Striving to make the world a little brighter.

  • Jessica

    Thanks Juli! Really good stuff for me to think about. xx

    March 21, 2015 at 6:55 pm Reply
  • Jessica

    Just what I needed to read. Thanks Juli, it’s always a relief to be reminded to not settle x

    March 22, 2015 at 12:30 am Reply
  • Oluwakemi

    wonderful, thank JULI

    March 22, 2015 at 8:22 am Reply
  • noemz

    thanks u so much for this article..truely its enlighten me.God bless

    March 22, 2015 at 3:31 pm Reply
  • AGracefulRose

    This really gives me some wisdom, thank you for this post!

    March 22, 2015 at 3:59 pm Reply
  • ruth sanchez

    wow just wow thanks for sharing your light

    March 22, 2015 at 4:49 pm Reply
  • young mama

    Wish I had read this a year ago. Woulda helped so much! Wouldn’t be dealing with court and custody issues now! This article is 100% true! Been there and that life makes ya miserable rather than glow with love… Thanks Juli 🙂

    March 23, 2015 at 7:17 am Reply
  • Grace

    What if you’re not in a relationship but you’re interested in the guy? If he does not initiate the conversations with you, is it still worth it pursuing him?

    And thank you for this! It’s very encouraging and you are a blessing to many women. God bless you!

    March 23, 2015 at 4:35 pm Reply
  • shoequeen1961

    Thank you Lord for my earthly father who told me this and SO MUCH MORE!!!

    March 31, 2015 at 4:47 am Reply
  • jesswasheere


    April 9, 2015 at 9:19 am Reply
    • Sam

      Thank you, Jarred and you have both been nice to me, May God bless the both of u more!

      April 14, 2015 at 9:13 pm Reply
  • amedinacue

    Lovely 🙂

    May 2, 2015 at 2:05 am Reply
  • Lottie Anne

    Juli. In regards to he is not the one for you. What if barring the first one he doesn’t do any of the rest. What if he

    Doesn’t text first
    Never has taken you out without being in a group
    Goes out on a Monday to darts and doesn’t care about how you feel or what you will be doing
    Never offers to pay for things instead you pay for everything
    Never wants to be the first to talk to you when together
    claims he loves you but says you stress him too much with moaning even though the moaning is about serious things he has not done, i.e. sorting finances for his own apartment.
    Tells you he wants space but by that he means you to go to your own flat even though you’re terrefied of your neighbour
    he would rather be with friends than you
    He books fridays away
    Books holidays without you
    When I ask him about his future career and whether I will still be here he says when he becomes famous he will put that first
    Is forced to attend hospital with you when seriously ill but would rather be with his friend playing xbox
    allows his friend to grab you then tells you you’re lying when his friend denies it

    Yet despite this

    You love him unconditionally
    Cry at night when you think maybe he will go again
    Fear him seeing his friend as he was the reason he went.
    He is all you think about every day
    He is your inspiration
    He holds your hand and cuddles you so much and it feels so nice
    He watches movies with you
    He is beautiful inside and outside
    He has a singing voice of an angel
    He has so much capability
    He is so protective of friends
    and has family values
    He is a sweet soul with no means of harm
    always saying sweet nothings – or was
    makes you feel safe when your whole life you have been scared
    helps you sleep when you’re an insomniac

    im so lost and confused – my friends say get rid of him he is not looking after me or treating me nice – but my heart screams stay or forever regret and feel ashamed and be unworthy

    June 8, 2015 at 9:10 pm Reply
  • Ina

    So perfect! I’ve had a guy on my mind and just couldn’t decide what was going on in my head….until I read this. My questions are answered. Thanks girl

    July 18, 2015 at 3:27 pm Reply

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