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Life, Relationships

Sometimes, A Breakup Is A Gift From God

It was written in stone, carved in a tree—you + me…forever and always. He was the person of your dreams. The one that said all the right things. Your mama was crazy about him, your daddy was so proud. You finally felt like you weren’t letting them down. Shoot, even your friends liked this guy.

And we all know what a big deal that is. He had that twinkle in his eye, the one that let you know you were his. He took you out on special dates, gave you flowers and opened the car door. He held your hand in public. He gave you those strong, sincere hugs. The ones that made you feel safe, protected and loved. He was your dream come true, your real-life Prince Charming. That is, until there was nothing new, different or exciting.

I don’t have too many horror stories of dating in my past, but I do have a few. One included a certain guy who thought I hung the moon. I liked that, although I didn’t agree. I honestly didn’t understand why he liked me like he did. But he did, and he let me know. Things got serious pretty quick, as they tend to do when you’re younger and untouched by heartache. The relationship started off strong. We got to know each other. We made plans. We dreamed dreams. But then, time passed..and slowly, so did the attraction. There was no heart connection. It was surface level. The relationship became a chore to me. A to-do list. I’d remind myself to act excited for the next date. I’d cringe when I received a text, knowing I’d have to respond. The butterflies weren’t there. The connection was lost. We didn’t want the same things out of life. But he was someone, and wasn’t having someone better than being alone? I tried to believe that for a while. But something happened. Something changed. I realized that in trying to be with just anybody, I was losing who I was – who I wanted to become. Not to mention, it was unfair to him. So unfair. Although I came to find out he was in the same boat I was in.


I prayed and prayed about how I should break the news. I felt like a complete jerk, but I knew it was the right thing to do. God gave me a sweet peace, the kind that surpasses all understanding. He reminded me that He had big plans for both of our lives…even though that meant we’d be living them separately.  I dug deep into my bible and asked the Lord to coat my words with grace. To cover his heart with understanding. To pave our paths with purpose. I found the courage to break the news, and with tears in our hearts and tears in our eyes, we said our goodbyes. We moved forward. It wasn’t easy, but letting go rarely is.

A few years went by, and I was doing extremely well. I loved where I was in life. I was chasing after my one true love, the keeper of my heart. God was my only focus. I pushed back my desires for a guy. And that’s when it happened. God, in his funny little way, sent my teammate. My husband to be. It didn’t happen the way I’d always imagined. He didn’t send who I thought I’d have. He went above and beyond. He introduced this  Memphis girl with a dream to change the world to a California boy with a heart to serve people with all he had. We both longed to lead. To love. To give. To change things, to make them what they should be. And when we were given the privilege to do these things together, it was electrifying. He made me want to be better. To dream bigger. To love harder.

Thank you, God, for your gift of failed relationships. For your better plans. For your patience with crazy ol’ girls like me.

Forever Grateful.

JW


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9 Comments

  • Reply Aaliyah Gaines January 23, 2016 at 7:44 pm

    I loved this! It was beautiful- so near and dear to my heart & many others, I’m sure. Break-Ups can be hard, but it’s all just apart of God’s giant plan for our lives! Thanks for reminding us.
    God bless you & your family! Xoxo.

  • Reply Sara January 23, 2016 at 11:04 pm

    Thank you this helped my perspective on failing relationships. I do have a question. What if you are married and your marriage is failing…what if your story hit home but in a marriage sense not dating but then what are you supposed to do? What am I supposed to do if my husband is acting like he wants to say goodbye?

    • Reply Megan Autey January 25, 2016 at 12:40 pm

      Hey Sara, I’m in the same boat you are in and struggling with the same question. I do not believe God wants us to divorce. He wants nothing more than for our marriages to work and be loved out in Gods will. But sadly, God gives us free will and even though one spouse may follow God the other can choose not to. Just pray for your husband. That God will touch his heart and bring him back to a relationship with God. Giving him the strength to follow Gods plan for marriage and not his own emotions.
      Prayers for you and your husband.
      Megan

  • Reply Seth Dixon January 24, 2016 at 2:16 am

    My Girlfriend just broke up with me and it completely devastated me. After reading this though, I feel as if I have peace and understand why she had to do it. I am at peace knowing that she will be happier now. I did all I could, but it obviously wasn’t enough to keep something she didn’t feel. I am heartbroken but also excited to find myself and prepare myself for the one girl who will not break my heart. Who will accept all my love and effort. Who will support me and be my true teammate. Thank you God for my recently failed relationship. That was hard to say.

    • Reply Dee January 25, 2016 at 3:53 am

      I wish I could say what u are saying. I am going through a breakup and it is the hardest I experienced. We are both hurt and in pain and not even kind to each other. I am so afraid of what my life will be like. I have a teenage son who’s dad died and the sole responsibility. I feel rejected and useless.

  • Reply Alphian Liman January 24, 2016 at 6:24 pm

    Hi, I thankfull bcuz i read your message here . .
    Its helping me to move on from the first girl in my life . .
    Its so hard, but i know God has provide the best . .

    God Bless You :)

  • Reply aisha January 25, 2016 at 4:33 am

    thank you ed mark for sharing this to my wall. for being a friend.. i know break ups are hard, but i know theres always reasons behind failures..

  • Reply Kristina January 25, 2016 at 1:10 pm

    Julie you have such a wonderful way with words! Really enjoyed reading this today!

  • Reply Jeannard Ticong January 26, 2016 at 9:13 pm

    This is beautiful. Encouraging. Inspiring. Thank you!

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