I remember it so clearly. Mostly because it happened, um…yesterday. I yelled. I yelled so outrageously loud. I yelled rudely. I yelled at my husband. My loving, patient, handsome husband. (Sorry, babe) He didn’t do anything bad. He actually didn’t do anything wrong at all. So why did I yell? Because he asked me to do something for him. He asked me to bring something to him as I walked into the room. Out came my roar….”I JUST NEED A MINUTE!! OKAY!? A MINUTE!!!”
Doesn’t he know? Can’t he tell? Is it not obvious that my to do-list is out of control and my mind is about to explode? I was finally on my way to sit down for the first time all day. To think. To take a breath. To feel like a human for a second. And then, he asked. And I blew up. But the truth is, he didn’t know. He couldn’t tell. Because I’ve been rocking the “I’ve got this.” persona for so long. Trying to prove I can do it on my own, that I balance it all.
Mamas, does this sound familiar? Am I the only one burning both ends of the candle? Rushing around from here to there, wiping baby bums and faces, cooking meals, working, writing, trying, striving, failing, laughing, crying. Trying to be enough. Trying to get it all done. Trying to beat the clock. Trying to get things right. To be the best mom. To be the best wife. To juice all the veggies, and hit the gym daily. To hang with the girls and not sigh when your hubby wants to go out with his. To be at church every Sunday and serve on a team. To balance the checkbook and get all the groceries. Do, do, do. But I’ve noticed…that list is never really done. It just keeps going. Unless we do something. Unless we stop it.
We obviously can’t quit everything, but we can quit some things. One of my goals this year was to spend more time doing things that feed my soul. Reading, painting and working out are a few of those things. And it turns out, the world doesn’t end if you have to feed your family take-out for dinner or if the laundry has to wait until tomorrow. Life goes on.
Take a seat. Take a breath. Take a minute. To pray. To talk with the keeper of your heart, the one who can settle it’s restlessness. Take a nap, take a bath, take some time to take care of yourself. Otherwise, you might find yourself blowing up on people for no apparent reason. Not that I’d ever do that or anything 😉
Hey, Mama? You’re doing a great job. Give yourself some credit. Those kiddos love you.