We all had discussions with our mom once. We thought that he was drowning us, that he did not understand us, that he did not trust us. On the other hand, our mother thought that she was not heard or loved as she deserved.
Both mothers and daughters often feel trapped in these relationships without even being able to visualize how to get out of the conflict. The truth is that the perfect family does not exist. Let’s see then three principles that we can put into practice to heal any interpersonal relationship:
- Do not idealize or discredit the other.
Neither your mother is God, nor your daughter is a saint. Nobody wants to have a relationship with a person who thinks he’s perfect. If you put another person in God’s place, you will always feel less, and this will still be a conflictual relationship.
Relationships cannot be all or nothing, angels or demons. We are people, and the best we can do is to humanize the other, that is, to realize that he is a human being with successes and mistakes.
- Do not try to change anyone.
Do not try to change your mom, and your mom, do not try to change your daughter. No one can replace anyone who does not want to be changed. We need to learn that the only thing we can change is ourselves.
- Do not manipulate or let yourself be manipulated.
Some mothers manipulate the daughters, and some mothers manipulate the mothers. Learning to set limits is not to be managed. It is not wrong to put a limit on life, it is not wrong for you to say “No” to your mother, and mom, it is not bad for you to say “No” to your daughter.
Respect your space, your daughter cannot be involved in your privacy, and you can not get into your daughter’s space. You have to learn to set limits because limits give us freedom and security. To achieve relationships that generate well-being, we must take everything with humor.
Never forget to put a little fun to life! The woman who laughs at herself is a woman with the capacity to enjoy life. Encourage healthy relationships!